Potatoes. They’re everywhere. Accepted by every religion, crucial in diets across the globe, and central to the lifestyle of people everywhere. Potatoes, taters as they’re lovingly called (in some parts) have an authority on every plate they’re a part of. Rich in vitamin C, they help prevent scurvy, and as a side dish, they’re incredibly versatile. 

There are over 59 ways to eat a potato. Mashed, roasted, boiled, fried, baked, grilled, put in soups, are merely some of the ways they can be used. And each preparation of the potato has its pros and cons. To help you decide which forms of the beloved potato are the best, I have devised a list of the best ways to prepare a spud.

5. Hash browns (Tater Tots)

   

Hash Browns are tough to judge, as there is not much difference between the different types. I am aware this may anger some potato enthusiasts, but I am going to consider the tater tot as a variation of the hash brown. In my opinion, hash browns are a perfect side snack to a good fast-food meal. But sadly they’re not on the same level as the next items on the list because they don’t have the same diversity regarding different ways of preparing them. Tater tots are also an amazing side, and are a go-to with school lunches all across America. But they aren’t worldwide. Therefore, hash browns and tater tots are in my top five, but are not close to my top three. In fact, the only reason they are in the top five is because McDonald’s hash browns are a crucial item.

4. Potato Chips 

A bag of chips is an incredible snack for when you don’t want something too big and you’re feeling slightly peckish. The flavor combinations you can create, and the spices and herbs you can throw on a thin slice of potato, make this potato a contender for top three. But it doesn’t make it because of its inability to be used in big meals. When it comes to restaurants, you will look like a child if you have chips on the side. That’s why it doesn’t make it to the same level as fries and mashed potatoes. My personal favorites would have to be the classic honey glazed barbecue, or an interesting salt and vinegar combination.

3. Mashed Potatoes

   

It’s a cool summer evening and your mom makes dinosaur chicken nuggets for dinner, and you ask yourself: “How can this night get any better?”

Well I have the answer for you— A mountain of golden mashed potatoes, molded into a volcano, with gravy erupting out the top,  oozing down the side of the “mountain,” creating a river of gravy flowing throughout your chicken nugget ecosystem.

On its own, mashed potatoes may seem bland and boring. But put it next to almost anything, and it’s perfect. Mashed potatoes are a universal side. There are only a select few meals that don’t go well with mashed potatoes, and its side longevity is only challenged by fries. But sides are not the only place this potato goes. Think of a shepards pie– the mashed potatoes are used to boost the flavor of the meat. It takes dinner to a whole new level. Mashed potatoes have been in the game for a long time, and still manage to be consistently awesome every time they are brought out.

2. Fries

Two words: Timeless. Simple.  Amazing. That’s three, but you get the point. Discovered over two centuries ago, fries are one of the few foods that may never get old. The simplicity of a small strip of fried potato give scomfort to billions in our society. However, as straightforward as the original fry is, there are over thirty different variations of fries to choose from. Fries can range from waffle to curly, to wedges, to steak fries; this could be a whole other top five list. Not much needs to be said to encapsulate this elementary, yet still professional side.

1. Roast Potatoes

   

Roast potatoes may not be what you expect for number one, but they are a delicious potato variant that hits incredibly hard after a long day. Full of delicious flavor and soaked in delectable roast juices, roast potatoes make my mouth water as I type this sentence. The skill and preparation used to construct this flavorsome geoid potato, makes sure it maintains its GOAT (greatest of all time) status. Roast potatoes are the Micheal Jordan of potatoes. If I was on death row and had to choose my last meal, I’d go with a roast with extra roasted potatoes. 

Honorable Mention 

For my honorable mention, I wanted to pick Kieran Cloutier, but instead the first honorable mention I have picked is the baked potato. There is not much to be said about a baked potato. It tastes good, but there is no excitement. It is literally a baked potato.