For a moment, let’s imagine what a promposal looks like.

You walk through the halls, or you’re ambushed in class, friends and acquaintances are filming, and your proposer walks closer with a giant poster, carrying balloons and flowers, too. The crowd starts to form, pushing you closer to this special person… This awkward moment, which feels like an eternity, builds up to the signature line: “Will you go to prom with me?”

The question isn’t the issue here—  it’s the act of putting on a show in front of a group of people. The interaction can be seen as a way to pressure the person you’re asking or just flat-out performative. I mean, is asking your partner to prom with a corny sign in front of the whole school the most romantic way to go about it?

I know this may be a hot-take, but Promposals just aren’t as romantic as they seem. 

I get it, promposing with a sign in front of everyone is a tradition; if you’re a senior, I’m sure you’ve seen a dozen. The cheesy sign and the gift to match aren’t original, and honestly, they’re overdone. As a result, guys start to feel pressured to go above and beyond when promposing. 

Junior Jack Horn shared his view on the pressures of promposing.

“If you’re promposing to the right person, the pressure isn’t really about asking them and more about how you do it,” Horn said.  “I’ve talked to a lot of people who have felt pressured to do something really big and extravagant. They stress out about making it perfect.”

Proposers get so caught up in trying to come up with some grand gesture that the act starts to lose sentimental value. When people get caught up in the theatrics of it all, the promposal begins to be  more of a show and less of a proposal, and significantly less personal. 

My outlook on theatrical proposals began during sophomore year; during a pep rally, a senior asked his girlfriend to homecoming in front of the whole school.  All of his friends held huge signs with letters that spelled, “HOCO?” All I could think about was how much I would hate it if that were me at the center of that attention.

Many people in relationships are also troubled with whether or not their partner even wants a promposal. And if you try and ask if it’s something they want, it ruins the surprise aspect of it all. 

Junior Cassi O’Donnell talked about the issue she has with the silent expectations of the tradition. 

“Since my boyfriend is a sophomore, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” O’Donnell said.  “Is he supposed to prompose to me? Am I supposed to prompose? And If I prompose, do I do it at school? I hate having to just guess what I’m supposed to do.”

The best way to avoid these issues is by giving your date a private and intimate promposal. The only person you should have to try and impress is your date, not the student body.

There are many ways to ask out your date without making a spectacle of yourself. For example, a promposal by the beach or surprising them at home.

 Senior Jake Clulow shared his experience on giving a private promposal, commenting that doing it away from the public eye sincere atmosphere. 

“I did a pretty basic promposal,” Clulow commented.  “I just made a sign and bought her flowers… it was a lot more fun and a lot less awkward than if I were to have promposed at school.”

So with all this in mind, let’s hope for a shift in promposal culture next year. Instead of making me watch your promposals in real-time, show me the cute photos and videos you took. Next year, Make your promposals more intimate and enjoy that special moment.