Yes, it’s that wonderful time of year again.  Time for prom.  Time for those exciting, gut-wrenching prom-posals.

This year, the Saint Stephen’s upper school prom is Saturday, April 21st. Juniors and seniors are eligible to go, and underclassmen are allowed to go if they’re invited by an upperclassman. The most formal of our school dances will take place at a beautiful venue, Pier 22, and there’s sure to be delicious food. 

Everyone knows the whole “promposal” deal, but many are stuck on how to ask their potential date. Josh Willard, a recently graduated editor, wrote a key article last year that we’ve decided to re-publish for it’s sheer genius.  In the article, you will learn specifically how to deliver successful promposals. 

Willard wrote:

The season is upon us! Prom is fast approaching and, with it, comes the inevitable pressure to ask someone. But what is a lonely Falcon to do? Ignore societal pressures and go it alone, or accept the daunting duty of asking someone? But who is that “someone” anyway? And how on earth are you going to get this mysterious “someone” to jump into your arms and accept your invitation? If only there was some sort of guide to make it all easier–sigh.

Through extensive research (and experience), The Gauntlet staff has narrowed down a plethora of “promposals” into six simple methods. In addition to their initial reactions to each method, we asked our panel to rate each promposal on three factors: the Aww Factor determines cuteness, the Success Rate estimates your chance of getting a “yes,” and the Easiness Level simply represents the amount of work required for each method.

Give me a Sign

This method involves making a clever, personalized sign to sweep your date off her feet.

◦ How do you feel about being asked to Prom with a clever sign?

‣ “Clever signs are cute and fun, but getting a bit overdone. They’re best only if they’re especially clever.”

‣ “The date’s only as good as the pun they make.”

‣ “I would give bonus points if food was involved too.”

‣ “The sign’s a good way to ask, it shows that you thought about it and were willing to put in the time and effort for her.”

‣ Aww Factor: 4/5

‣ Success Rate: 5/5

‣ Easiness Level: 3.5/5

The Assembly Spectacle

Everyone has seen this before. This is the “stand-up-in-front-of-assembly-and-do-something-daring” method. Whether you sing, dance, or deliver a personalized rap, the Assembly Spectacle is designed for big impact and big results.

◦ Do you want a big middle-of-assembly performance promposal?

‣ “No, its too much pressure.”

‣ “Fun to watch, but I wouldn’t want one.”

‣ “I would love a big assembly promposal, (I can’t resist a show!) but only if it were from someone I was for sure going to go with, like a best guy friend or a boyfriend. If not, I’d have to agree: I’d feel obligated to say yes and then have to let the poor dude down later.”

‣ “I mean, if they’re willing to chant ‘ooga chaka ooga chaka’ in the middle of the commons, then clearly they’re serious about it.”

‣ Aww Factor: 5/5

‣ Success Rate: 4/5

‣ Easiness Level: 1/5

The Classic

Classic is the standard, stereotyped method of promposal. Kneeling before your date with red roses has been around for years, but does it still work?

◦ How do you feel about the kneeling-with-roses method?

‣ “Uncreative, but works”

‣ “It’s classic for a reason.”

‣ “Classic is classy. Always a winner in my book. But if you can afford roses, you can also afford food, so if you want to make a good impression, switch the flowers for a pizza. Trust me on this.”

‣ Aww Factor: 4/5

‣ Success Rate: 5/5

‣ Easiness Level: 4.5/5

The Casual Cubby

The Casual Cubby method is simple and slick. A simple lean up against your future date’s cubby, a quick smile, and nod, and then a smooth ask is all that this method requires. But is it enough?

◦ How would you react to a guy leaning in for a promposal?

‣ “Not offensive, but really depends on your relationship with the guy. I would be fine if it was someone I was friends with, but it’s not okay if it’s someone I’m not as close to.”

‣ “Not the best option… But if you’re very shy or don’t know your potential date very well, it makes it less awkward for both parties if things don’t work out. A little gift to go along with it couldn’t hurt to score some bonus points… Like a pizza. Can’t go wrong with pizza.”

‣ “If it’s casual cubby, he at least needs flowers… It puts in some effort.”

‣ “Casual cubby is boring, but it’s chill and there’s no pressure.”

‣ “If someone asked me out like that, I would tell them to try again.”

‣ Aww Factor: 2/5

‣ Success Rate: 3/5

‣ Easiness Level: 5/5

The Last Minute Text

This is self-explanatory. If you are still single by the week’s end, your iPhone may present a solution. Can romance possibly blossom on iMessage?

◦ Reactions? How bad is it really?

‣ “I would slap him through the phone.”

‣ “I would put in equal effort and not respond.”

‣ “This is completely disrespectful. This applies to asking a girl last minute, in person, as well (especially if he had asked someone before and she had said ‘no’). No girl wants to feel like a second choice/last resort.”

‣ “Last minute text, not so much. Doesn’t show a lot of care or consideration, and it doesn’t seem like you actually like her.”

‣ “ONLY if it’s one of those ‘Go to your back porch’ texts accompanied by an actual promposal. Otherwise, it’s just tacky and, frankly, quite rude. You’d have to talk to your date in person at prom anyway, so you should at least have the courtesy to ask them in the same fashion.”

‣ Aww Factor: -1/5

‣ Success Rate: 1/5

‣ Easiness Level: 5/5

A Girl’s Dream

To top off our methods, we asked our panel to state their dream promposal. According to one recommendation, “All promposals would be better with glitter.” So, after you add a tasteful amount of sparkle, what is really the best method? Without further ado, welcome to a female falcon’s utopia…

◦ If the world was perfect, how would you be asked to Prom?

‣ “My Prince Charming would come prancing through the ocean on his white horse carrying bouquets of red roses with a gold crown and white pearls in hand. He would sweep me off my feet and together we would return to his castle.”

‣ “My date would sing me a mashup medley of love songs with a supporting chorus and backup dancers that shower me with confetti and gifts, ending in me crowd surfing into my date’s arms, at which time he hands me a pizza and I accept his proposal. Later, at the dance, we sing a duet and the entire upper school gives us a standing ovation.”

‣ “A personalized rap/song proposal followed by food would be absolutely perfect.”

‣ “[I want] an entire chorus of people to jump out of cubbies, serenade me, and then someone arrives with roses and chocolate-covered strawberries to ask me to prom and sweep me off my feet.”

‣ Aww Factor: 100/5

‣ Success Rate: 100/5

‣ Easiness Level: N.A.

So, have we learned anything from today’s lesson? If you take anything out of this, I hope it is an understanding of the true feeling of asking someone. As much as you want a date, your date wants to have a good time and be respected. 

Hope this helps!  Willard was a legend.  Read this article again, and make it happen.